A Late Night Post: Second Sight & my friend Sam

“You ever have that?” Cowboy asked, looking up from his spot on the couch. I hadn’t been paying attention, so I had to ask him to explain himself. “Where you dream about meeting somebody or something happening and then you meet them or it happens?”

“All the time,” I replied. “You know that.”

“Oh, that’s right,” he said, rolling his eyes at himself. “You have that Second Sight thing. And I really think that you do have that.” Continue reading

Forced Delete

This morning, I sat down with my computer and decided to make a lovely photo and video montage about our year in Washington to send back to my friends and family as a bit of a Christmas update. I was having trouble getting my video editor to talk to the videos that I wanted to use, and I wondered if moving the folder I wanted back to its default location would solve the problem.

I did a good old drag and drop. My media library is about 24GB. It was going to take a while, naturally.

I messed around with a few other things. I went back to check on the progress. The “preparing to move” window had vanished, so I assumed I’d had success. I went to try to construct my video again. Still no luck. I clicked around, and saw that the media library hadn’t actually moved. I did the good old drag and drop again. It moved immediately to the wrong folder. Whoops! Drag and drop again.

This time, something a bit weird happened. It asked if I wanted to replace the already existing file. I rashly said yes. It thought for a moment.

Then everything sort of… exploded. A few things froze. My video editor announced it could  now find media. My photo and video manager announced it could not find ANY. I tried to show it where the library was now located. “No, no,” Photos said. “There’s nothing there. And whatever that is that you dragged and dropped, we can’t talk to that. Terribly sorry.”

I panicked. I restarted. It was even worse when everything had rebooted. The treacherous media library was back where it was not supposed to be. There was nothing in the new location. And when I clicked on the media library to open it, assuming everything would be just as it was, Photos said it didn’t recognise it. Video said there was nothing there.

The only option it gave me was to use a different library. I wailed, spouted a string of expletives, and Cowboy peeked out from under his blanket to ask if he could help. No, of course he couldn’t fucking help. He doesn’t even know how to switch on this computer, let alone fix it when I’ve royally fucked up.

The moment of truth came when I checked the memory usage on the hard drive. The 24GB was reduced to a mere 1.36GB. I grabbed fistfuls of hair and cried. Photos, videos, precious records of our life this year that I had not yet managed to share with anybody back home, had just disintegrated. I had nothing left but what was still on my phone – which I had naturally just cleared because I had literally just transferred photos and videos to the computer. I had no way of rebuilding.

I am still hoping that InstaPort can salvage some kind of library from my Instagram account, but I started that process about an hour ago, and it said it might take up to two minutes. It is still blithely “processing”.

I took it as a sign that I needed to delete some stuff and start again. It was the only way to deal with the rage and horror of it all disappearing.

So, resignedly, I started a new Photo Library. Hidden in my Downloads folder were a few images and videos from our trip to Montana in the summer, but half of the trip has been deleted. There were a few photos that I just refuse to delete from my phone, and I’m glad to still have those. So much is gone. I had to sit and mourn for a moment.

I am just thankful beyond measure that I printed all of my pictures of Richard some months ago, feeling a need to have them in hard copy. I made a mental note to do that more often. Holding the little stack of square images, in a beautiful matt finish, made me think about how disconnected I am from my memories when they are stored in digital format. Seriously, this technology shit is supposed to make life easier and more convenient, but when my photos used to be in envelopes in my cupboard, I never worried about “losing” them.

I must be about to become that crazy old lady who harps on about the good old days, plugs a corded telephone back into the wall, and decides outdoor plumbing should make a comeback. Send help.

The Latest High

On Sunday night, the snow came down and coated our homestead in several inches. It has been utterly beautiful. I love the snow. I love the muffled, glittering quiet that comes with it. The traffic noise shrinks to almost nothing, the horses breathe steam into the cold air and stand quietly in the bright sun, and only Ruckus has endless energy to go leaping across the pristine white cotton lawn.

My chickens, who are recovering from the loss of two of the hens to hawk attacks recently, and who are comforted with the dashing new rooster, Allan-a-dale, hid in the hen house while the snow surrounded their run. Occasionally a brave individual would hop up to the pop door and examine the chances of going outside, Continue reading

Musical Therapy

On a whim, and in a bid to smother the noise from Cowboy’s boxing game on the TV, I put on my Beats headphones and I clicked on an album in my iTunes that I haven’t listened to in quite some time. It was Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

Kanye is my guilty pleasure (one of many). He might not be the most authentic hip hop artist out there, but I do see some talent in his poetry, and the beats are always good. I resolved to let the album run, without skipping ahead. It’s been a throwback. Continue reading

Buffy and the Beast

I have just come in from the pouring rain. A storm is brewing just off the coast, heralded as potentially one of the worst storms in recent history, and all I can hope is that the roof stays on the barn and the trees by the house are old enough and strong enough not to blow down on us while we can’t sleep for the din of the rain on the tin roof.

I stood in the rain behind the barn, cradling my buff brahma hen, Buffy Summers. I told her I was sorry that I hadn’t done better for her. Continue reading

Stationery Porn

I just wasted approximately three hours browsing the internet for some kind of stationery porn. A few weeks ago, the fabulous Susie of My Milo & Me posted on her Instagram about a stationery delivery subscription service, Proper Post. I am a big fan of beautiful paper, pens and pencils, and also just about the worst person ever at remembering to buy and send cards of any kind for any occasion. I finally revisited her post, determined to treat myself to something lovely for the next 12 months.

My sadness came at the realisation that Proper Post is a British-based company, hence the beautiful sense of style that so appealed to me, but the chances are they don’t deliver to Washington as part of their First Class Post deal. But maybe they do! I emailed them to ask. Continue reading

Runtastic and the Horse Who Doesn’t Run

I tried running for a while. It was the barefoot running craze time, everybody lusted after a pair of Vibram Fivefingers – I tried those too and hated them. I even ran a few “Extreme Trail” races. I hated those too. Well, I hated the running part. I didn’t mind the mud and the camaraderie at all.

A friend of mine has been using Runtastic to track all of her rides on her three horses for the year. Facebook will pop up with her stats, which she simply labels with the name of whichever horse she was riding. Some days she rides more than one of them. I spend a few minutes staring at the time she has put in, wondering how on earth she manages it, and then I remember something important about her. Continue reading