Insomnia

My peace of mind is less than peaceful just now. I have been out for walks in the surrounding countryside in a bid to find some peace and quiet.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/87227712@N08/12088036993/player/cb9d8cdc92

What is it about being out in the air? It is pouring with rain at the moment, and I am seriously considering donning my coat and boots and trudging out into it. Last night, I set my alarm early, with every intention of squeezing myself into my running lycra and getting out early to stretch out and put some cold air in my lungs.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/87227712@N08/12075454084/player/3be5a4182f
The run was thwarted by an abysmal night’s sleep. I tried some of those herbal tablets that smell and taste like shit, hoping that they would let me get to sleep at a reasonable hour and stay asleep. They didn’t work. Well, they worked enough to make me drowsy and floppy – so floppy that I was slightly concerned my hips would dislocate if I lay on my side – but I was still wide awake.

Cowboy messaged some time after 1am, and we talked on the phone for a little while. It made me miss him all the more. The PVP is bad. My dreams when I did eventually get to sleep were threatening and stressful. I woke up remembering why I don’t like taking those pills – they dredge up some very disturbing dreams.

This morning, I lay in bed for several hours before I could bring myself to get up. I did some yoga to stretch out and get oxygenated, which was helpful. I often feel I should make it more of a ritual.

I know it’s getting bad when my thoughts don’t even make sense to myself. It’s time to get out of here…

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