Some pretty big stuff is happening. Cowboy and I actually went out on Saturday night, as in some kind of date, I wore makeup and washed my hair and everything. We danced together, I ate greasy food and felt a bit sick, we went home and he was up for talking into the small hours and I really wanted to sleep off my grease nausea; it was romantic as heck.
We bought a barbecue, like grown up people. Admittedly, it came from Walmart, but it should see us through a few years.
I entered the last four weeks of school, which is rapidly approaching the last three weeks. Three weeks sounds like a long time until it’s flying by and I realise I need to pack my suitcase for England a week ahead of time, as I’ll be going straight from school to the airport. School has been tough to manage, but as we laughed our way through class today, I knew I will miss all of the wonderful people I have met and been lucky to spend time with over the last few months.
On Friday, I finally swung a leg over Mr T and rode him. I was nervous about it, because we hardly know each other, but it was a good ride and a big deal in my horsemanship journey. I might have only been up there for ten minutes, but that was a big deal.
So often we talk about things like graduation or the first ride as if it will be a monumental event, life changing, requiring planning and preparation and documentation. I can barely remember graduating from school when I was 18, and barely remember graduating from university the first time when I was 23, but those were big moments at the time.
I have been feeling the pressures of these big moments recently, and felt as if I wasn’t devoting enough time or effort to them, which is absurd, because time is so very short these days and there is so much other stuff to do, like laundry and making wholesome food, and remembering to clean out the cat’s litterbox so he doesn’t have to sit in his own excrement, all of which become big issues if not dealt with when they are small issues.
This post is really just to serve as a reminder that the big moments pass just as quickly as the small moments and the unimportant moments. Being attentive to the moment is about as good as it’s going to get, unless you resort to selfies to document each and every victory in life – and if that’s what you do, good for you! I am terrible at recording how life goes, despite my best efforts. It’s ok for the big things to slip by. It will all blur together in a few months anyway. My memory is like a sieve, so it’s not as if I’ll remember most occasions very clearly at all after a few days. That’s almost a relief.