On being not quite ready

I graduate (one hopes) next Thursday, and will be sent out into the world to go and be a fully fledged massage practitioner. I’m not quite ready to leave the comfort of the classroom, nor to leave my interesting and wonderful classmates, who have been my first real social group since I moved to Washington. It is great to have made so many new friends, but most of them live in and around Seattle and think that Bellingham is basically in Canada. I will need to make an extra effort to keep in touch with them all.

I am taking the State licensing exam tomorrow, which is the last real hurdle in my training, and I feel not quite ready for that too. Some of the anatomy classes that I will be relying on for my knowledge were taken quite some years ago, and I am hoping that my brain has filed the information away in some way that will allow me to dredge up the correct answer without too much angst.

Then we have a long weekend, which will include the America-fest that is the Fourth of July. I am led to believe that we are hosting a party for some of our friends on Saturday, which will be fun and over-catered, as usual. The weather has been unseasonably hot and dry here, so our lawn is crispy, our driveway is dusty, and I have been surviving mostly on iced tea brewed on the bonnet of my car. That’s… a new thing to me, which I might bring myself to explain one day. It involves admitting that I am drinking something made with Lipton’s tea bags, which is just strange and unsettling, and I’m not quite ready for that.

I need to pack my suitcase for my trip to the UK, which I’ll be leaving for on Thursday afternoon, straight after graduation. I can’t find one essential piece of paper, but should be otherwise under control. I’m just not quite ready for the journey. It has been about ten months since I did a long haul flight, and I haven’t had a break from flying for this long since I met the Cowboy. I was usually flying every three or four months. I feel like I have lost my touch a little.

Meanwhile, we have been busy making plans for various things at home. I still need to repaint the living room and finish painting the kitchen, and we need to get new insulation under the house, and find an electrician to come and look at the mildly alarming wiring. We have torn out the old barn ready to redo it. We have drawn up plans for the new paddocks. I’ve prepped the chicken house for new chickens. Mr T is at a healthy weight to ride regularly and start turning him into the rockstar I know he can be. We’re just not quite ready to get stuck in to all of these things…

I also need to bite the bullet and find a way to order myself a new saddle, so that when my best friend visits in October, we can all ride together. I’m just not quite ready to part with this much money.

Are we ever quite ready? I expect not. All we can do is get on with each day as it comes and hope that we don’t bugger it up too badly.

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