Cowboy Dating Guidance: The Montana Wife Tests – a fail

Cowboy has a growing collection of wildrags – neckerchiefs to the uninitiated. These colourful silk scarves have a number of purposes, both practical and aesthetic, but that’s a whole different story.

This story is about a Montana Wife Test that I failed recently. Here’s the challenge:

– Leave various bundles of dirty laundry about the house. Leave a bundle or two in a vehicle of some kind. Eventually, she will get a powerful urge to do something about them. If she checks the pockets for money (singles and quarters, mostly), score an extra point. If she does not check to see if your 100% silk, dress wildrag (i.e. fancy, going out to town wildrag) complete with rawhide slide is bundled up in amongst your jeans and puts them through the wash and into the dryer, lose fifty points.

Who loses the points? It’s not clear. I was initially outraged that he had left his stuff all bundled up like that, where I had little chance of finding it. But ultimately I felt awful when I discovered the silk in the dryer, all frayed and crumpled from the heat and the detergent. Worse was the rawhide, the tight braids warped and unravelling. I considered hiding the evidence, but I knew it wouldn’t get me very far, so I sucked up my pride and went to confession.

Cowboy was visibly saddened by the news. I felt terrible. Good gear isn’t cheap, and replacing it might sound like an innocuous task, but finding designs that he really loves is difficult, and we often have to buy gear out of state, which has its own complications.

Well, I sucked it up in the end. I ordered him a new one, and the kind folks at Buckaroo Businesses, where we got the victim of this tragedy, are going to try to match the design for us. I will have to try to be more careful and thorough in the future.

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